I spent most of Sunday and Monday thinking about where things went wrong. Should I have continued with the squat program that had me crushing wall balls in the late summer? Was it my metcon and it just not good enough? What happened to my muscle ups? Earlier this summer I was crushing but I seemed to take a step backwards. In the end what it has come down to is that I am just not a top 20 athlete and that is a very tough pill to swallow. Interesting enough Dr Belger posted this article - Had-a-bad-day-now-what?
"One might argue that the best athletes and performers are defined by
simply not having bad days. Or maybe it’s not that they don’t have bad
days; rather it’s their capacity to manage themselves despite having a
bad day, their ability to dig down and perform when their bodies aren’t
quite right, that makes them special."
My focus here is not on what elite athletes but what the rest of us do–not so much during a bad day, but in
its aftermath. I’m interested here in how we handle the
disappointments of a competition, a workout, a race, an event when
things don’t go our way. How do we process our failures? Where do our
thoughts go, why do they go there, and how does this affect our
functioning in the future?"
I can tell you where my mind has been - This Open experience has been more stress than fun. Worst of all I have allowed it to define how I feel about myself regardless of the success I have had at other Crossfit Comps. When this is all over I will take some down time and determine what my plan will be in future competitions.
Im not a quitter but I will take measure whether all of this training on my own away from the community is the way I want to continue.
In the meantime I need to get myself in the right state of mind to give it my all in 13.4 and 13.5.